summer

4.3 Setting Up House

Housing Options

Home sweet home.

Mostly housing choices are out of your control. However, definitely confirm the details in advance, even before you sign the contract. I’ll summarize a few of the implications, the pluses and minuses, and questions to consider.

School-Supplied Housing

This can be a blessing, as you don’t need to waste time and mental energy searching. Perhaps you inherited from a departing teacher and made arrangements in advance to buy their stuff (teacher garage sale.) The school handles the utility setup and billing. Bingo, just hang your clothes in the armoire and you’re good to go.

Negatives? This housing might be sub-standard. The apartment might be on campus and you’d live in a fishbowl. Assignment of desirable units can be political and in the event you got lucky, you might be resented. Lastly, you have no choice in the matter.

Subsidy Provided

Subsidy may be provided but you find your own. Since you almost certainly do not speak the language fluently or have local knowledge, the school will assign you an agent. Then you can find what suits you best. This House Hunters International episode highlights one teacher’s experience in Tokyo with this model.

No way is this tub big enough!

No way is this tub big enough!

Negatives? The hunt takes time, lots of it, just when you are trying to get settled and start work. What you prefer might be well above your budget and beware of the transportation issue; you don’t want to spend hours getting back and forth to school in hellish traffic.

Pay Out Of Pocket

The school provides little support and you pay out of your salary. Eek! Think twice about signing a contract under these conditions. ISR posted an informative discussion on this particular housing issue.

Red Flags

Keep your eyes open.

Keep your eyes open.

  • 10-month housing contract, meaning you’d have to vacate during the summer. Who needs that?

  • Substandard (moldy, bad condition) or literally nothing livable in your price range available.

  • Hidden costs that pop up without warning. Check who pays water, utilities, and Internet.

  • The rental agreement in your name, not the school’s, which means you can be at the landlord’s mercy regarding repairs, safety, and deposit return.

  • The school might assign you shared housing with a random teacher of the same sex. Again, who needs that?

Mechanics of Getting Settled

When you’re safe at home you wish you were having an adventure; when you’re having an adventure you wish you were safe at home. – Thornton Wilder

OK. You are indeed having an adventure. But here’s a checklist to be sure you don’t forget anything important:

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1.     Register with the police – this is why you have a work visa. The school should arrange this.

2.     Electricity and heat or A/C – occasionally, heat for the entire building goes on on the same date and you have no control.

3.     Water – if you can’t flush the toilet paper, don’t drink the water.

4.     Mail – may go through the school.

5.     Internet and Wi-Fi – crucial to your well-being.

6.     Food shopping – explore local markets and expat stores.

7.     Paying bills – in school-supplied housing, you never even see the bills.

8.     Cash and banking – where and how. More on this in MONEY.

In the best case your school agent and new teacher mentor deal with all this. If not, you will have to make the arrangements, be present at the housing to let in workers, plus all picky details of renting.

 Scenarios For Outfitting Your Home Overseas

1.     You inherited a more or less completely outfitted apartment or made use of the teacher garage sale before you left, so you’re covered. You made contact with current or departing teachers to ask what you should ship. Good on you for preparing in advance. As always Amanda has pertinent and detailed advice, like be sure bring a Halloween costume. Who knew?

2.     School housing has the basics and you are provided with a relocation allowance and taken on field trips to stores where you can finish outfitting the place.

3.     Neither 1 nor 2, so you’re on your own and have to scramble.

It is almost impossible to overstate how important your home will be as a refuge and sanctuary. So prepare as well as you can in advance.

Note: do not take privacy for granted. An American landlord is required to give 24-hour notice and usually does. In Russia the FSB (formerly KGB) can make its agents at home in your apartment while you’re at work, listen in, and otherwise snoop freely. Several female teachers who lived alone would return in the evening and find the toilet seat up and coffee cups in the sink. Get over it.

Too bad they don’t vacuum and tidy up while they’re snooping.

Too bad they don’t vacuum and tidy up while they’re snooping.

Moving Pets Overseas

“That’s good chicken. No, it’s good dog.”
-Micronesian villager to Peace Corps Volunteer

 Cultural Norms

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Attitudes towards pets, particularly dogs, are country-specific. In Austria, for instance, dogs are coddled; in less-developed countries, street dogs may run in feral packs and pet owners are considered nuts.

America’s love of pets has grown exponentially and many international school teachers will bring/want to bring their pet. But as always, do your research in advance.

Can You Take Your Pet Overseas?

Let’s start with worst-case scenario.

1.     It simply may not be possible. Some countries/ schools refuse to permit entry to certain pets or breeds, period.

2.     Sometimes it’s easy-peasy. France loves its dogs and you might find yourself with Fido in a sidewalk café without a lot of trouble.

3.     The process is not easy or cheap, but it can be done.

 In each of these instances, you must do your research early. If Fido or Fluffy is a member of your family, confirm details with the school and study the country’s regulations before you sign a contract. Some issues are country-specific and some are school-specific. Make sure you deal with each.

#1 – Not Possible.

Before you even begin recruiting, research the breed you hope to bring with you. It could be the breed is banned, or quarantine is so restrictive that it would be cruel.

Once you have decided to interview with a particular school, clarify their policy on pets. Be up front and don’t waste their time and yours.

It may be that the landlord for school housing does not permit pets. The school may say ‘no pets’ and they pay your salary. It may be the administration has had bad experiences with troublesome pets and won’t hire you.

But if the answer is “sure, we hire people with pets,” then go to #2 or #3

#2  Easy

Either no quarantine or very short, a reasonably inexpensive process, pet-friendly city, suitable housing. But be sure to Google living conditions for pets in general.

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  •    Are there dog parks? A decent place to walk the dog?

  •    Can the animal ride on public transport?

  •    Are pet sitters available? What about summer and other vacations?

  •    Will I need a yard? Can cats be let outside?

  •   Is the climate too difficult? (Think Russia or Dubai)

  • What are vaccination requirements and availability of veterinary services?

 #3 Not Easy Or Cheap But Can Be Done

There will be a lot of bureaucratic and organizational hoops, and be sure you have the cash to cover expenses. I’ve heard instances of up to $5,000.

But many teachers have successfully shipped their pets; it can be done. Companies like PetRelocation specialize in these details if you don’t want to do it on your own. The best piece of advice is to confer with school staff who have transported and now live with their pets. What is their experience?

 Transportation Mechanics

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. - Colette
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 Study this discussion from teachers who have gone through the process. Pay particular attention to their description of the preparatory work involved and how complex it can be. Again, you can pay a service or do the legwork on your own.

1.     Shipping crate preparation

2.     Health papers and vaccinations required

3.     Airline choice and route

4.     Temperature restrictions

5.     Checked luggage or cargo?

 What Is Best For the Animal

 The comments in this discussion are illuminating and some of the stories terribly sad. But if transporting your pet isn’t possible, there are typically plenty of adoption and fostering opportunities to fill the void.

 But above all else, keep the animal’s best interests as your top priority. You want to leave a Newfoundland alone all day in a 390 square foot apartment? Or provide kitty with an unhappy new lifestyle?

Everyday Concerns Like Food and Water

           “Don’t drink the water!”

 You’ve made it through the first days and your house is more or less set up to your satisfaction. You are even awaiting the arrival of your shipment in about 6 weeks. Time to organize the basics of everyday living.

 Water and Bathrooms

Verify that this is a safe behavior.

Verify that this is a safe behavior.

Let’s start with water, which you should research ahead of time. “If you can’t flush the toilet paper, you can’t drink the water.” In the developing world drinking local water can be life-threatening,

With any luck, the school will provide bottled water for your housing; in Russia trucks came by with 5 gallon water bottles and installed them in a dispenser in our kitchen.

Or you may get lucky and tap water is fine. Just confirm. And before you rely on disposable plastic water bottles, consider the environmental impact and use your own bottle, please.

 Other bathroom features might be different than what you are accustomed to but might actually be an improvement. The toilet may be in a tiny separate room; water in the bath/shower may be heated with a wall-mounted water heater.

Toilets come in a dizzying array of layouts, but just remember that these differences are why you left home in the first place.

 Food Shopping Overseas

Options to keep yourself fed:

Our “pickle lady” at the reenok (farmer’s market) in Moscow.

Our “pickle lady” at the reenok (farmer’s market) in Moscow.

1.     Local market including farmer’s markets - explore your neighborhood. This is where your exotic new life comes into focus. If you are a foodie and like to cook, become a regular.

2.     Local shops will be an adventure. In Russia there were 20 flavored vodkas and loads of root vegetables. In Dubai the row of olives and the fruit juice display seemed to stretch the length of a football field.

In many countries the default is daily grocery shopping and schlepping the bags back home. But this way of life seems to be vanishing in favor of large supermarkets.

3.     Shops catering to expats – you are bound to pay more, a lot more, but the staff will speak English and you are likely to recognize items.

4.     Superstores – if you have access to a car and adequate storage, this might work. Or perhaps a colleague would take you along on a shopping trip. These Walmart sort of superstores are becoming more and more common.

5.     Eat on campus – if you work at a boarding school, you can always eat with the kids. But it gets tiresome after a while.

6.     Eat out – this can get expensive and it is easy to fall into the same expat restaurants over and over. McDonalds and its ilk are worldwide.

7.     Get a cook – it depends, but this person can take care of the day-to-day grind and get a much better deal at the markets.

Food Cravings (and Children)

You (and your family) will absolutely be overcome with the deep need for comfort food on occasion. You and/or your children may have particular dietary requirements or worse, be picky eaters.  So let’s strategize.

1.     You cannot possibly take enough peanut butter to last two years. So you can either do without, buy Nutella, score a local source, or make your own. Peanut butter is, after all, just ground peanuts with salt and honey. In other words - be flexible and buy a grinder.

2.     If you need to be gluten-free or have other restrictions, you might very well be better off in certain culinary traditions. India anyone? But do your research in advance.

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3.     Children mirror mom and dad’s attitudes. If you express culture shock through picky eating, your kids will probably do the same. That’s OK now and again, but you won’t last if you don’t pull up your socks.

 Medical Care Overseas

Plan for the worst and hope for the best.

In CONTRACTS you should have verified exactly what your medical benefit covers or does not cover. But verify these details.

o   Deductibles?

o   Reimbursement scheme or insurance billed?

o   Travel coverage? Out-of-country coverage?

o   Limits and exclusions?

o   Evacuation coverage?

o   Dependents coverage? Pregnancy and childbirth?

o   Disability or major illness?

 I hate to be depressing, but medical insurance is all about the worst case scenario. Just hope you never need to test the limits of your coverage, but read the fine print to avoid nasty surprises.

 Plan Ahead In Advance Of Need

Two issues you need to sort right away:

1.     What happens if an emergency occurs? Is there a 911 system? Does the school or Embassy have emergency contacts? Find out and put this number on speed dial.

2.     What if you have a pre-existing condition and require medication or treatment? Find out if you can bring the medicine into the country or if there is a local substitute; inquire about getting a physician.

Medical Tourism

You might be surprised to learn which countries have been ranked best healthcare. Expat teachers will be in a separate Western hospital/doctor system, most likely.

I needed an emergency eye treatment in Thailand and the doctor had trained in Boston. In Oman the emergency room stitched a bad cut for free and the staff spoke English. Ditto in France when my brother injured his eye.

Frequently, overseas medical care puts the US to shame.

 Self-Care

Above all else, take care of yourself.

o   Get plenty of exercise even if the traffic/weather/filth/crowds/pollution are too bad for outdoor exercise and you have to use a gym.

o   Avoid self-medicating with too much alcohol or with drugs.

o   Don’t short yourself on sleep; make your bedroom as quiet and soothing as possible.

o   Cultivate your support network.

Same old, same old advice, of course, but it’s far more crucial while you are adapting to a brand new way of life far from home.    

Technology Basics

We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works. - Douglas Adams

Electricity

If a solar flare destroyed the electrical grid (SEE Dystopian fiction) technology and its blessings would end. So if you expect to maintain a 21st century lifestyle overseas, confirm the reliability of the electrical grid before your departure.

French plugs

French plugs

Also verify the power system (most likely 220 V) and plugs. Generally speaking, laptop computers can switch seamlessly between 110 and 220 volts.

Small household appliances, not so much. Printers, hair dryers, kitchen appliances? Best to skip buying adapters and 30 pound transformers and just buy locally, or better yet, buy from departing teachers in the teacher garage sale.

Internet

Network and Internet reliability are local and unique to your school and city. As always, try to confirm the situation in advance. Some schools did not invest in a fast, reliable network and staff the IT department with capable people, meaning those big dreams of interactive whiteboards in the classroom and streaming Netflix at home are just that – dreams.

Always remember there is a difference between PR and reality, so take the school website with a big lick on the salt block in this regard and trust but verify. 

Censorship and Security Overseas

The next issue is national and even global. Some countries don’t give a hoot about free speech and they censor or block information on the web. Google, YouTube, Facebook, news sites, and Twitter may even be blocked. What a time-saver. Just prepare yourself.

 Some countries are hacker heavens and you’d be wise to take security into account. The only defense users really have is to pay for a VPN (virtual private network) which hides your IP address and encrypts all the data you send and receive.                                                

It’s not perfect but it helps. VPN is a good idea even at home, but particularly out in a public unsecured coffee-shop WIFI setting, especially online banking. Ounce of prevention…

 Backups and Password Managers

A word about the most crucial failsafe of all: backup. It is not a matter of whether your hard drive will fail, but when.

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If you want an instant headache, imagine the disaster your life will become when failure occurs and you did not backup properly: 15,000 photos lost/ five years’ worth of brilliant lesson plans/ financial records/ and so forth. Experts suggest the rule of three.

1.     Make three copies.

2.     Use two different formats minimum like an external hard drive + Dropbox or Backblaze in the Cloud.

3.     Store one copy off-site and or even on paper.

And of course your best computer friend is the password manager, if you don’t already use one. It’s a jungle out there and along with a VPN, these tools provide another level of protection.

 Staying In Touch 

“Distance sometimes lets you know who is worth keeping, and who is worth letting go. - Lana Del Rey

Cell Phones

We can’t really live without them anymore.

As  always, do your homework first. Cell phone issues differ when you are a traveler as opposed to a resident.  

o   Want to keep your current phone number? Can your phone be unlocked? Check with your current carrier. Typically you have to own the phone.

o   What do teachers at your school use for cell phones? What about a local SIM card?

o   Would you want to be tied to a two-year contract? In some countries, you will need to prove you’ve paid it off before receiving an exit visa.

o   What about when you are traveling and not at your new school? This advice is from Rick Steves, the PBS travel-guru.

Electronic Mail

Communicating with family and friends is a long long way from aerograms and waiting two hours at the local post office for a 3-minute phone call. We are so lucky today. FaceTime, Skype, email, blogs – there is no excuse for not being in touch, as long as you have a good internet connection.

Paper, Physical Mail, and Packages

As always, it depends. Sometimes letters and packages need to go through diplomatic pouch. Sometimes mail and packages will come directly to your home or the school. Or maybe you do without altogether.

In some countries corruption rules and customs workers may view your package like a Christmas present, so the item may or may not arrive in one piece, or ever. 

Amazon, FedEx, and UPS do ship internationally but not everywhere; check with your school on delivery options. Be aware of customs regulations and duties. And of course, international shipping will cost a lot more than you are used to.

 Social Media

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More on this later, but let’s just be clear – it’s a jungle out there. Remind yourself that social media provides zero expectation of privacy. You may post a blog with opinions you may regret later and these words will follow you forever. Caveat Emptor.

 Transportation

You won’t need to go to the gym
to get your heartrate up.

Options For Getting Around

Let’s run through your choices, from easiest to most “exciting”:

1.     If you live on campus at a boarding school, just walk to work and go home for lunch. Even so you will need to get into town or go traveling on breaks; that means car-sharing, renting a vehicle, or taking public transport.

2.     School-provided transportation could mean a bus to take teachers to and from school housing every work day.

3.     Public transportation infrastructure is frequently much better overseas, and the typical big-city resident won’t even own a car. Automobiles are too expensive, for one thing.

4.     Hire a driver. Sure, it’s expensive but it is also stress-free and provides employment to a local.

5.     Buy a car or motorcycle. Maximum independence. After all, you teach overseas to explore, don’t you?

Car Ownership

For us this ranged from a Samoan car so rusted we could see the road through the holes in the floor to a bright green Jeep for dune-bashing in Dubai. We had two accidents in Thailand where they drive on the left, but otherwise emerged unscathed and do not regret buying a car and driving.

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Some things to watch out for:

1.     Get local advice to help with the purchase and someone you can trust. Ask around school.

2.     Buy a common car, nothing fancy or unusual or flashy. You’re going to be a target anyway with your expat license plates.

3.     City streets can be narrow and parking spaces tiny, so keep size in mind.

4.     Some countries permit driving on your American license but some require driving lessons and road tests, which can be a royal hassle, but interesting. Check before you go to see if an international driver’s permit from AAA will do the trick.

Cultural Norms

Getting to work might end up being the most exciting part of your day and not in a good way. In some countries you will learn the true meaning of defensive driving. As always it’s a jungle out there, in some countries more than others. Be careful. Below are my evaluation of various driving environments I lived through:

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  1. Lawless, chaotic, and downright dangerous. That was Moscow. Way too many vehicles, a culture of corruption and entitlement, and inexperienced drivers produced a toxic brew.

  2.  A sense of fatalism and entitlement, plus big heavy expensive cars and drivers who trusted to Allah and not traffic regulations to keep them safe. That was Dubai.

  3. A relaxed Buddhist go-with-the-flow attitude seemed to make traffic flow by magic, except for the horrendous traffic death numbers. That was Chiang Mai, Thailand.

  4. A Teutonic adherence to order made the roads very safe, if somewhat anal. That was Vienna.

 Moving On

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving. -Alibert Einstein

Occasionally expats may find the place they were meant to be and spend the rest of their lives there. Most of you, however, will sooner or later be moving on.

Let’s start with the most common reason for departure, meaning a new overseas school. Then we will move down the list to the least common reason (evacuation, either medical or political).

Basic Advice

1.     Plan as far in advance as possible.

2.     Set aside money in savings. These moves require liquidity.

  1. Next School

You just perform the moving process all over again, but backwards. For instance you are not the one buying from the garage sale but the one selling or giving things away.

You have been through the shipping allowance experience, so none of this will be as stressful as the first time.

Keep an eye on the recruiting calendar, meaning that the autumn of Year Two (or Three or Four) you will need to give notice and start looking.

Since you are overseas already, you may be able to attend an overseas fair in Bangkok, for instance. Or you may have developed enough contacts that you can recruit directly or digitally.

2. Home For The Summer, Or Not

This is the default, especially for families. Grandma and grandpa want time with those kids, plus there is a lot of shopping and visiting to do. You will want to reconnect with friends and go camping/rock-climbing and other things you cannot do in Dubai, for instance.

Home for the summer with friends, family, and familiar pleasures.

Home for the summer with friends, family, and familiar pleasures.

Or you can just stay and travel like a relaxed tourist in the wonderful place you call home. Visitors can be expected no doubt, and it’s a lot easier to host when you are not working. Conditions like weather might make this too difficult, of course, depending on where you live (rainy season/extreme heat/hordes of tourists.)

Your Apartment During Summer Break

  1. You can leave the apartment vacant and arrange for the guards, your cleaner or some school staff member to keep an eye out; be sure to pay them generously.

  2. Depending on where you live, you might be able to arrange a house exchange. Teachers from Mumbai spent three weeks in my house summer 2019, for instance, and I just had a request from Barcelona teachers in 2021. 

  3. Maybe an overseas teacher from elsewhere might want to stay in your apartment; put out the word on the grapevine.

  4. Some low-end school housing allowance only covers the school year and you must relocate for the summer. The cure for this is to (a) confirm the details in advance and (b) don’t take that job.

3. Breaking Contract

Sometimes the school is just too awful or health issues or a family emergency arise, and you need to skip town. The bottom line is that the administration will not be inclined to be helpful or cough up money.

You’re on your own. This is when you will need teacher and staff allies to help you. Also be careful about regulations for an exit visa, or you might not get out of the airport.

4. Evacuation

Once in a great while, a natural or political disaster means the school needs to evacuate for safety. Think of Paradise, CA and how little time residents had to flee. If this sort of evacuation seems even faintly possible, prepare yourself with a safe bag.

1.     Important papers, especially passport and laptop with backups

2.     Cash (several hundred dollars or Euros in small bills)

3.     Small suitcase with the most necessary items.

5. Home For Good

This can mean either retirement in your home country or overseas where things are cheaper, or going back to work stateside. Since in this instance you fulfilled the contract, the school will provide transportation and shipping, as per the contract.

Details That Can Derail Your Move Home From Overseas

Follow the advice of the business office to the letter regarding cancellation of contracts/rental agreement and deposits/car payments/and so forth.

You have to pay your final bills and prove it. Schools typically have favorable arrangements with landlords and do not want to jeopardize future business.

You’ll be selling or giving away all sorts of things either you won’t need or do not have the shipping allowance to take home with you.

Some shipping advice? Remember that your stuff will arrive back home weeks or even months later. Decide how long you wish to live without your household goods overseas.

Note: There are tax implications regarding bona-fide international residents i.e. staying out of the country a certain number of days . Go sit on a beach somewhere to make the yearly minimum and avoid paying US taxes. More on this later in MONEY.

But for now you live in a new world, the Expat world. You’re an official member of this tribe.

5.4 Family

Couples Surviving Overseas

Ideally, couples need three lives; one for him, one for her, and one for them together. - Jacqueline Bisset

You may be single or overseas with a partner or spouse, plus children. In addition, everyone has family back home. The expat life produces a unique mixture of blessings and strains on families you would not encounter in your home country.

The Department of State even has a separate arm devoted to supporting diplomatic families. “Family life abroad can be very exciting,” they note. But they end with an offer to provide “guidance and referrals to those experiencing personal challenges.” This is a delicate way of saying that it won’t always be easy.

 Couples - 3 Scenarios

1. Teaching couple

If you are a teaching couple, you’re going to be seeing a lot of each other - inside the school expat bubble, commuting back and forth to school together, going to the same events and parties, friends with the same people.

2. Business person + teacher trailing spouse

If your spouse/partner does not work at the school and you do, a different dynamic results. The business may demand long hours, lots of travel, and brutal amounts of stress, leaving less energy for the relationship.

3. Teacher + non-working trailing spouse

Or you may be that peculiarity of the expat world: the trailing spouse. It could be the wife or the husband; in the case of this charming blog post, it’s the husband, “In which I discuss how tricky it can be being the expat partner, but ultimately realize there’s way more to gain than there is to lose from the experience.” What puts the trailing in trailing spouse is that the partner’s job brought them overseas. The other half just came along for the ride.

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One day in the Moscow library, empty at the time, a parent confided her distress. Her diplomat husband had been assigned a tour to Russia and she’d had to quit her very satisfying career. She wept bitter tears over the painful lack of purpose and loss of self-esteem that was her daily life. All I could do was listen and provide kleenex. I’d been in this exact spot and once spent a miserable spell locked in the bathroom, crying like a teenager.

In many countries the 2nd spouse literally cannot get a work visa or even work online and would in fact jeopardize the visa of the 1st spouse. That would damage the relationship of the organization or business with the local government. This means the unemployed trailing spouse is well and truly stuck in professional limbo. Which leads us to…

Stresses and Opportunities

Strains Unique To Expats

 If both partners are on board 100% with going overseas, the adventure can strengthen the relationship and keep even a creaky marriage going longer than it might otherwise.  Or the stress can blow open any rifts spackled over at home through routine. 

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As difficult as it might be to manage, each partner must feel valued. If one of the couple does not want to abandon their life and go overseas, things will almost certainly end badly.

If one of the partners cannot find professional validation and respect, a make-work job or volunteering with the Ladies Aid Society isn’t going to cut it either. “Adultery and fractured marriages are rampant in the expat world,” says Robin Pascoe who has written widely on the issue.

With all the temptations, things can go south. What to do? Talk to each other in depth for a start. If one of you really does not want to go, my advice is, don’t go.

This excellent summary from ExpatFocus Can Your Relationship Take the Strain of Moving Abroad Together? pretty well sums up the difficulties.

Sexual Pitfalls Overseas

The expat life features some sexual temptations a marriage would likely not face back home.

1. Many cultures have a much more relaxed attitude toward adultery and prostitution. Remember that America was founded by the Puritans.

A spouse who is working long hours and away from home a lot may fall into this trap and really not face much social stigma. Except for the spouse, of course.

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2. Some countries are havens for sex tourism and mail-order brides and so even a very average-looking expat might be considered quite a catch.

This thread features a lot of snark but illuminates the complicated depths. Remember that frequently it’s not your good looks they’re after but your bank account.

 Family Back Home

Single or partnered, pretty much everybody has relatives. Several dynamics peculiar to the expat life are in play. Let’s focus first on the negative aspects of this atypical lifestyle you have chosen.

Aging Parents

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Who takes care of aging parents? This can be a thorny issue and must be sorted before you get on that airplane. If your parents become ill, will you have to relocate and abandon the adventure? Will you need to take a long leave and return home to make arrangements?

Are siblings nearby and willing to bear the burden? Might you move mom or dad overseas and find affordable care, in Turkey or Thailand, for instance? Could they tolerate the disruption?

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  1. These are questions to sort out in advance of need.

  2. Decisions must be made jointly with your other family members.

  3. It all depends on your relationship with your family.

Friends and Family Reactions While You’re Overseas

 Instagram Life  (Jealousy)

You know how other people seem to be having way more fun on Facebook than you sometimes? Your family back home may grit their teeth when they see you floating down the Venice canals on a long weekend, a trip they have dreamed of for years.

Your adventures seem so exotic (they are) and their life so prosaic (it can be.) The best advice is not to overdo the bragging.

Nobody Much Cares  (Indifference)

After you have trotted out a few well-rehearsed tales, people back home typically return to their own concerns. Perfectly normal, and really, what else did you expect? You will discover that the only people who truly understand are fellow expats. 

Wish You Hadn’t Gone  (Disapproval)

Some family back home may put pressure on you, subtle or direct, to return home and take care of business i.e. mom and dad need help, you dumped your house and financial chores into my lap and I regret saying yes, etc.

Your parents may express horror every time a disaster or international incident occurs anyway near you. Or they may just disparage your choice (What’s wrong with your hometown?) and feel your choice is a put down on them. It’s not, but try to be sympathetic.

They Visit (Excitement)

Best of all, your family is happy for you and will turn up at your door sooner or later. There is nothing like a local tour guide for enjoying a place, so just prepare yourself to host family and friends at some point in your stay.  

Grandma had the time of her life.

Grandma had the time of her life.

A few notes. Your visitors have come from halfway around the world and will stay possibly several weeks. You probably won’t be able to take two weeks off work to show them around. Plan accordingly.

Also take weather and season into account. You won’t be touring Dubai in the summer, as the temperature is over 110, for instance. Christmas and the high tourist season in Venice may be way too crowded.

Remember how much hand-holding you needed in the early days and be careful about sending them out the door on their own. Visitors will be rookies just like you once were and will need their hands held.

Advance Planning For Visitors

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 1. Walk them through the process details (tourist visa, money, customs.)

2. If possible, have them bring an extra duffel full of items you can’t otherwise obtain.

3. Their time will be brief (certainly not two years) so settle on a doable itinerary and prioritize.

4. You will need to do the planning and executing, so start making arrangements. Think about arranging tours and a driver.  

5. Think through exactly how long you want this visit to be. Do you need to take some time off work? Can you??

6. Be sure the school is aware you’ll have guests in school housing.

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days, according to Benjamin Franklin. Obviously three days won’t work, but the visits can be a strain as well as a pleasure, but a priceless experience for both parties.

Can You Raise Children Overseas?

So where are you from? Umm...
Intercultural contact.

Intercultural contact.

Can you take your children overseas? Can you become pregnant, give birth, and raise a small child overseas? Of course. And these children will be different than if they’d been raised solely in their home countries. They will even have a special name and an acronym to match: Third Culture Kids (TCK).

TCK (Third Culture Kids)

First culture means the passport culture of the child. Second culture refers to the host country where the child and parents have moved. This leaves a third culture unlike either but something entirely new. Several characteristics define this third culture. These children:

1.     Actually live in another culture for a fair amount of their developmental years.

2.     Experience a mobile upbringing.

3.     Expect to return to their passport country someday, meaning they are not immigrants.

They might be military brats or MKids (missionary kids) or EdKids (teachers’ kids) or foreign service families.

Temporary Or Long term?

Let’s first distinguish between those TCK whose parents do not stay long nor expect to (tourist teachers) and those who are making a career of overseas work (career IS teachers, foreign service, NGO.) The positive and negative effects will therefore be greater the longer the stay.

Entire books have been written on TCK and their special upbringing. This post revisits the psychological effects of this childhood from the perspective of a grown-up TCK.

Positives?

·      Tolerant and with a broad worldview

·      Bilingual or even multilingual

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·      Culturally adept

·      Open to new experience

Negatives?

·      Ignorant of home culture

·      Rootless and lack a sense of belonging

·      Hesitant to make close friends or develop intimacy

·      Unclear loyalties

Special Needs Children

There is no 94-142 Education for All Handicapped Children law overseas. For-profit schools are private and can legally refuse to admit whomever they choose. Even for embassy schools, the State Department advises finding another career path if the family does not pass the suitability review panel; even schools supported by the State Department may not support the necessary education.

That being said, children with special needs can be sometimes be accommodated. This assumes no severe handicapping conditions or behavioral issues, plus you might be doing a disservice to your child. DoDEA schools can be somewhat more supportive.Be sure to verify in advance and please be upfront with the school.

Pregnancy and Nannies

Yes, plenty of overseas teachers have gotten pregnant and successfully raised small children. A few things to consider in advance, as always:

1.     What is your present/future school’s maternity policy? You don’t want to find out too late that pregnancy is grounds for dismissal or insurance does not cover maternity.

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2.     What is the level of medical care in the country and the options for childcare? In many countries, healthcare is considerably cheaper and better than in the USA, but certainly not all.

3.     Do plenty of research and ask around before you decide that you need to go back home to give birth.

4.     Since you won’t have family support close at hand, what kind of support system can you assemble? Better get started early.

 Questions to Ask the School

1.     For how many children will the school provide tuition? (usually one per contract.)

2.     Any constraints on single parents? How much does daycare cost? Can kids play outdoors?

Hint: don’t count on it.

Hint: don’t count on it.

3.     What about children with special needs? Will the school accept them? If yes, how much support is available?

4.     Is it a true international school, meaning plenty of other TCK’s? Or is it an international school in name only where 90% or more of the student body speaks the local language and the only foreign faces are teachers’ kids?

National School

What about enrolling your child in a true national school? i.e. the public school just down the street. You might be setting your child up for:

  •    Bullying. True TCK are largely very welcoming. After all, they’ve all been the new kid many times before and know how painful it can be. Not necessarily so in a local school.

  •    Lost academic progress while your child learns the language.

  •   Young enough children, however, might very well thrive.

  •   You’d need a translator to work with the school.

So…should you teach overseas with children? Heck, yes. The experience is a great gift to your child.

Reverse Culture Shock

As much as you love and miss your friends and families, if you stay overseas for any length of time, ties will inevitably wither. You are simply not there for the day-to-day events that constitute life, and honestly, FaceTime is not an adequate replacement.

You will feel a sense of dislocation back home referred to as reverse culture shock. Holy cats! The toothpaste aisle is overwhelming, and why is everybody in such a hurry?

It may seem you’ve landed in an alternate universe.

It may seem you’ve landed in an alternate universe.

You will probably also discover that after a brief flurry, nobody much cares to hear your adventures. They may even feel a bit of implied superiority in your Instagram happy life compared to their mundane lives. At some point you’ll realize the only people who really understand are fellow expats. Unsettling, but there it is.

Going Home

Home is the place where, when you have
to go there, they have to take you in.
Robert Frost

The word home has a complicated meaning for an expat, meaning you. It also has a time element it does not have for the citizen who never worked overseas. Let’s examine four of these situations.

(1) During Your Contract

Meaning summers and holidays. Most typically, schools pay for a round trip ticket at the beginning and end of a two-year contract. So if you want to return to your passport country to see family in between, these flights are on your dime.

Plus you might well be couch-surfing unless you are lucky enough to own a home you can afford to keep vacant or can arrange a house sitting gig or house exchange.

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I am a member of HomeExchange.com and last summer, a family of teachers from Mumbai worked a deal to stay in my house for two weeks to visit their family in Portland and also manage rentals. I wasn’t going to be home anyway; I’d already been to Mumbai and did not want to go during the rainy season. But still, it worked out slick for them and for me as well.

Summer Options?

§  Go back home for the entire period, which can be intense, exhausting, and expensive.

§  Travel overseas the entire period. This depends on your location, meaning it’s more fun to travel in Europe than someplace really hot. Also, occasionally a school will require teachers to vacate during the summer; avoid a school like that.

§  Mixture of both, perhaps with visitors.

 2) Between Contracts

This means you will be rewinding the whole moving process. In addition, here is some advice on breaking the news to your school; remember that recruiting starts very early in the school year.

§  Close out your classroom and school checkout list.

§  Arrange shipping, sell or give away what you’re not taking in the teacher garage sale, arrange airfare reimbursement.

§  Pay off all financial obligations like landlord and utility charges.

§  Document all final payments to be able to leave the country legally.

§  Say sad goodbyes to the other nomads in your herd (IS teachers) and achieve closure, particularly if you have children.

 3) Breaking Contract

Sometimes the school or personal situation is so awful that you just cannot tolerate the situation and you break contract.

§  What circumstances would you say justify bailing early or even sneaking out? Safety? Harassment or threats of violence not dealt with by the school? Repeated failure to pay salary on time or egregious violations of the contract? Personal or medical emergency? What justifications would you support? Each person will have a different threshold, so think about it.

§  Will you ever get another job and will you be blackballed? The answer is yes, no, and maybe to both. Reading through these comments reminds me again of the prospective teacher’s overarching responsibility to practice due diligence in advance. Plus the bitter whining in the comments. Whew!

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1)    Do your homework as well as possible in advance, particularly for-profit schools.

2)    Do not rely solely on ISS or Search. You own this one.

3)    Watch out for red flags, like when a good director leaves.

4)    Keep financially liquid in case you have to pay your way out.

 4) Permanently

You can’t go home again. - Thomas Wolfe

 Actually you can go home again and eventually, international school teachers will need to choose where to nest for good, constrained by whether they can retire or must keep working.

§  Return to your passport country – if you still need to work, you can return to the public school system or try the private school route. Look at Carney Sandoe, private school recruiters or religious schools as well.

Just be sure you haven’t let your certification lapse, although sometimes private schools will give you a pass. There is dispute on whether overseas teaching is a plus or minus in the job market.

§  Remain in-country and go native to one degree or another, bearing in mind that some countries have visa and income minimum requirements. They may not want you and regulations may change suddenly. Ask yourself where can you afford to live and also feel comfortable.

The Same But Different

Family is family anywhere, but the expat’s relationship to parents, relatives, and children has unique twists. At the very least the aspiring overseas teacher should give some thought to the issues in this post and, as always, do the research.